“Do you know the way to San Jose?” Da-nah-nah-nah… I don’t know the rest of the words to that song, but it doesn’t keep my brain from singing the first line and humming the rest any time my monkey brain needs to be kept busy. It’s an ear-worm for sure, but more importantly, it is a reminder to me to be wary that conditions are ripe for a reaction that I might later regret.
Rick Hanson’s book, Buddha’s Brain, speaks of the brain’s need to be busy, have a plan of action or a story – even if it’s not true. Long, long ago, a human’s survival depended on the brain’s ability to figure out whether or not it needed to implement the flight, fight or freeze course of action. But, as civilization has evolved, that methodology is no longer as necessary on a 24-7 basis and can often lead us astray.
When we are faced with a supposed issue or problem, the survival instinct of our brains springs into action to create an opinion of the situation. Even if that opinion is bias, untrue or downright self-destructive. Any story is better than no story. Or, is it?
How do we combat what Tara Brach calls in her book, True Refuge, the “hijack by limbic system”? Buddhist’s teachings suggest enacting the “sacred pause” works; it interrupts the brain’s usual path of creating a story just to have one. Even if it is a split-second pause, it can derail harmful thoughts or untruths. I think of it like a well-worn path through a field of tall grass. The path is easily identified as “the way to go” and offers the path of least resistance, but I may end up at a familiar, yet unwanted destination. The pause allows us the time to decide if we want to hack a new path in the field and create new neuro-pathways for our brains or just take the usual one without regard to the fact that it may take us where we don’t want to go.
One of my favorite quotes, often attributed to Viktor Frankl, perfectly articulates this:
Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose a response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.
We often forget that we have a choice about how we respond to a situation. May we all remember to pause, so that we may respond with kindness and compassion to ourselves and others.
Today’s Mantra: Pause, breathe, proceed.
